I’m overwhelmed. I’m not sure how things have gotten back to a point where everything seems so chaotic again. Could it be having four children? Could it be that all four children are here all day every day? Maybe it’s because I’m working again and many of our activities are going again. Maybe I got used to a slower pace and I liked it. Is it because my husband is currently working two jobs and I’m basically a single parent at the moment? Maybe it’s the fact that I’m homeschooling three children (which is a full-time job), working, and trying to manage a household. Most likely, the answer is = D. All of the above.
I’m completely excited that life is moving again to some degree and that my family has a bit of “normalcy” back. And I wouldn’t trade my jobs and I love homeschooling! I also really enjoy my children and love being with them so much. But I never. have. any. quiet. And I think I have too much on my plate between it all. I mean, I can’t seem to get caught up with everything I have to do; much less stay caught up. (This is a terrible thing for my type A personality.) I am literally doing my full days and then putting in hours of work every night after the kids go to bed just to keep my head above water. I’m exhausted! Can’t I send the kids to some sort of camp for a week so I can work uninterrupted and get caught up? Please?
I know, I know. It’s COVID and I’m being unrealistic. I just need a bit of quiet. And sleep. I really need more sleep.
You know what I think is a contributing factor? I think the fact that I have four children in four different stages of life is a part of the problem. For example, my three-year-old spent the first twenty minutes after waking up this morning either crying or whining and making life difficult for the rest of us. I can’t think straight when she is like that. I’m trying to get the kids fed breakfast and set up to do some school while I’m out tending to an unplanned semi-emergency with my dad and trying to keep all my ducks in a row is nearly impossible with that noise distraction. While I’m on the subject of Sadie-Rae, I’ll address the fact that I really need to think about potty training her but every time I contemplate it, waves of exhaustion sweep over me and I choose to ignore it a while longer. After all, I can’t ignore the incessant, “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy” so ignoring the potty-training issue just seems fair right now.
On the polar opposite of raising a toddler is the raising of my teenager. Talk about trying to keep up – potty training to dating. Yeesh!!
Actually, did you know that research on brain development has revealed that the early teenager’s brain functions much like a toddler’s? Maybe they aren’t so opposite after all, LOL.
Seriously, the research is legit and I have seen the results of that brain development in the past. However, Cadence is in the middle of her teenage years so that doesn’t happen as often any more. As a matter of fact, Cadence is a huge help to me and I probably depend on her more than I should.
Still… I find it challenging to switch between the different styles of parenting needed for a toddler and a teenager. (I could write a whole article about that.) On top of that, throw in my pre-teen and the eight-year-old and I get dizzy trying to figure out who needs what! Is Savannah really ready to tackle more of her school independently? Is Reed going to accomplish his chores without fifteen reminders? Has Sadie-Rae gone over her TV time limit? Has anyone actually played with her today?
Not only does their different ages make an impact, but so do their personalities. Cadence is so much like me – a type A personality – and she gets stressed out big time if she doesn’t feel accomplished or have as much school completed as she thinks she needs to. Reed is incredibly high-strung and a perfectionist and that can make accomplishing tasks very difficult. Savannah is pretty chill, but she needs a lot of connection that can be difficult when you are pulled in so many directions. Sadie-Rae is my wild child and makes everything twice as challenging. We all adore her, though, and she usually brings us some much-needed comic relief.
Yes, I really believe that parenting kids in so many different stages is one of the major distractions from being the calm, organized person I used to be. (And that doesn’t even count my adult kid – A.K.A. my husband, LOL.)
Seriously though, I need to figure out some balance so that I don’t feel so completely stressed out all the time. I’m just at a loss as to how to find that balance. Working less hasn’t been an option and we love homeschooling, so I don’t want to give that up. I guess I will eventually figure it out. Until then, I’m going to try to take more deep breaths, pray more often, and somehow find a few moments of quiet every day.
After all, I have an incredibly blessed life and I want to enjoy it while I’m here. I want to keep in mind that somehow it will all get done and the “things” that seem important aren’t nearly as important as the people I love. As long as I’m able to do my best for them, I can know it will all work out. So, I guess I’ll get back to contemplating potty training and the schoolwork that I need to grade. But first we need to finish reading our history chapter. Wait! Is it lunchtime already? Why are they always hungry?
Oh, yeah, this is the part I’m supposed to breathe through and enjoy. You know what? I really do. It’s hectic and scattered, but full of blessings and I love my stressed out, crazy, beautiful life!
-by Kari Carr
About the Author: Kari doesn’t claim to be a parenting expert, just a mom to her four wonderful children and wife to the love of her life, Mike. Together they move through the ups and downs of raising kids in this crazy world. She struggles through the trials and joys of raising children from the ages of two to 15 years old. Kari received her degree at WKU and taught public middle school music and choir for seven years before opening her own business, Sound Beginnings Musikgarten & Vocal Studio. She lives and works in Bowling Green.
