This year I will be getting married to my best friend. With all the excitement that comes with wedding planning, we’re making it a priority to communicate with each other and have open and honest conversations about many different topics, one of these topics being our finances. While it can be easy to get caught up with wedding planning and future dreams, finances often get overlooked until problems arise. However, our goal is to discuss our financial situation and goals before tying the knot so we can set the foundation for a healthy marriage. Whether it’s understanding each other’s spending habits, aligning on savings goals, or tackling debts together, having an honest conversation about money is one of the most important steps you can take as a couple. In this article, we’ll explore why financial discussions before marriage are important, topics to discuss about your finances, and how they can strengthen your relationship for years to come.
Having conversations about your finances before you get married is crucial for several reasons. By discussing your finances before you get married you avoid any unpleasant surprises down the road such as undisclosed debt or bad financial habits. We’re fond of saying, in our practice, that we’d rather hear the bad news first thing in the morning so we can handle it and move on from it. The same is true with your finances when you’re planning on getting married. By understanding your partner’s financial situation up front, you can set common goals together that will help you work as a team to accomplish those goals.
Additionally, talking about your finances before marriage helps to set the expectation for the future. Everyone has a different money story based on their upbringing and when two become one, their money stories are intertwined. When you set a clear expectation about how money will be managed in the marriage it helps to reduce potential conflicts in the future. This includes having conversations about who will be responsible for managing specific financial tasks, for example, paying bills, saving, and investing. Overall, it helps distribute financial responsibilities clearly and ensures that nothing is overlooked.
It can be daunting to try to figure out where to begin with having a conversation about money with your significant other. I’d suggest starting by intentionally setting some time aside to talk about your finances. This could be a date to the local coffee shop or discussing them over a home-cooked meal, but you must make the time for the conversation. When you set time aside it allows you to avoid distractions and have more meaningful conversations.
There are countless topics to discuss with your finances. Below are 10 suggested topics and questions you and your significant other can focus on when discussing your finances:
- Current Financial Situation – What are our current incomes, expenses, debts, and assets?
- Debt – Do either of us have debt such as student loans, credit card debt, or other personal debt?
- Financial Goals – What are our short-term and long-term financial goals and how do we prioritize them?
- Budget – What budget method do we want to use and how will we ensure we stick to our budget?
- Bank Accounts – Will we have separate bank accounts, joint accounts, or a combination of both?
- Retirement Planning – What is our ideal retirement, and how will we save/invest for retirement?
- Spending Habits – How do we view spending and what is our mindset towards spending vs. saving?
- Investing – What experience have we had with investing in the past and how comfortable are we with taking on risk when investing?
- Childbearing & Education Cost – Do we plan to have children, and if so, how will we save for their education?
- Charitable Donations – Are we both interested in charitable giving and how much of our budget should we allocate to charitable causes?
When you have conversations about your finances with your significant other it helps strengthen your relationship by fostering open communication, trust, and a shared vision. The conversations you have about money help to improve your communication skills with each other by listening to the other’s perspective and learning how to navigate sensitive topics with empathy. Trust is a core principle in marriage, and by having open and honest conversations you can further build trust in your relationship. Financial discussions provide an opportunity to align your goals as a couple, with an aligned goal it strengthens the sense of teamwork and unity in achieving them.
My fiancée and I are thrilled about this next stage of our lives but also want to prioritize discussing our finances before we are married to build a strong foundation in our marriage. I hope you are also encouraged to have open and honest financial conversations with your significant other. By taking the time to understand each other’s financial situation and working together to achieve your goals you can strengthen your relationship for years to come.
Financial Advisor, RJFS – 313 East 10th Ave. – Bowling Green, KY 42101 – Phone: 270-846-2656
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