by Greg Almond
The holidays are here! Not to sound cliché, but it is a wonderful time of year. That can be easily ruined, though, so I have a very simple public service announcement for this Christmas season. Are you ready? It’s called the Don’t Be A Jerk Campaign.
Don’t be a jerk to that uncle who insists on wearing his Make America Great Again hat in the family Christmas photo. Don’t be a jerk to that college freshman who now refuses to eat turkey at Christmas dinner because “meat is murder.” Don’t be a jerk to your grandma because she doesn’t understand the concept of inflation and still only gives you $5 in your Christmas card.
Please don’t be a jerk to anyone working in retail who says “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas.” Don’t be a jerk to anyone of an inappropriate age who still believes in Santa Claus (totally not talking about myself). Don’t be a jerk to the Starbucks barista who spells your name wrong on your venti peppermint mocha.
Don’t be a jerk to anyone because of the team they root for. Don’t be a jerk to anyone who wants to watch Christmas Vacation…again. Yes, I’ve already watched it four times this week, but it’s hilarious every single time.
Don’t be a jerk to the people who can’t drive or park. Don’t be a jerk to the co-worker listening to their Christmas music too loudly. Also don’t be a jerk to the other co-worker who changes the words to make the songs dirty. Don’t be a jerk to your annoying neighbors. Don’t be a jerk to the way too skinny mall Santa.
I think you get where I’m going. Just don’t be a jerk. For the past 335 days, we’ve had no problem addressing our differences and that’s fine. But please for just a few weeks can we all agree to stop being horrible to one another. Even the Grinch took a day off to stop being so uptight. I think we can spare a few weeks. If you remember that end of that story, by the way, you know the Grinch changed forever. That was after one day. Think about what we can do after a few weeks. Please. Don’t be a jerk.
If you like what you read feel free to follow me on Facebook, Twitter and Snapchat @GregAAlmond.
New Releases
December 1
Chris Stapleton From A Room: Volume 2
Danielle Bradbury I Don’t Believe We’ve Met
December 8
Luke Bryan What Makes You Country
Walker Hayes Boom
Definitely Download
Dylan Scott “White Christmas”
Mallory Hope “Just A Baby”
Luke Bryan “O Holy Night”
Tim McGraw “Dear Santa”
Phil Vassar & Kellie Pickler “The Naughty List”
About the Author:
Greg Almond is an on-air personality for Goober 95.1.
