submitted by Village Manor
Realizing that a parent’s health is changing can be hard to accept for the family as well as the parent. Many factors can cause the need for change, such as a recent fall, inconsistency with taking medications, depression or even memory loss. No matter the circumstance, starting the conversation with a loved one about your concerns can be a daunting task. You want them to have the most appropriate care for their changing needs, but it’s not always clear how to approach that conversation in a caring and effective way.
Suggesting that someone is no longer safe to stay in their home can trigger a myriad of emotions. Some parents may not recognize that they are struggling to maintain their health at home or how their need for help may be affecting their own family. However, if we recognize this and approach the subject with compassion and concern, we can help them identify their fears about moving and embrace the new possibilities for wellness that accompany an assisted senior care lifestyle.
Strategies for Handling a Difficult Conversation
Caregiving writer and author Paula Spencer Scott says that the words you use, and how you use them, make a huge difference in these conversations. The experts at Village Manor couldn’t agree more.
“Respecting your parent’s feelings is a vital part of successful conversations about moving,” said Village Manor Executive Director Heather O’Banion, LNHA. “When you prepare to talk about moving to assisted senior care, use positive ideas and statements, rather than a laundry list of your parent’s limitations. Assure your parent that you want them to have a better quality of life.”
The following strategies from Scott can help you prepare to have a tough conversation of your own:
- Do Your Research – Before you talk to your parent, take some time to gather information on assisted senior care. Research nearby communities, and have brochures on hand to show your parent. By having these details already in mind, you’ll let them know that you’re serious and willing to help find the resources they need, even if they don’t agree with you.
- Test the Waters – To keep your conversation from coming as a surprise to your loved one, Scott suggests bringing up the topic casually to see how they respond. Bringing a tough issue to their attention in an easy conversation will help prepare both of you for a deeper discussion.
- Start the Conversation – Set a positive tone for the visit when you go to talk with your mom or dad. Look for a natural opening in the conversation where you can bring up your concerns.
- Listen Closely – A successful conversation depends on active listening. Follow your parent’s cues to know what to say next, and try
to convey that you understand their point of view. Then, move the conversation forward. The goal of this conversation shouldn’t be to find a solution or come to an agreement by the time you finish talking. Instead, encourage input from your parent and keep the discussion a positive one. - Follow Up – Let the conversation settle for a little while, giving you both some time to think more and reflect on what each other said. Don’t push the issue, but be ready to talk about it again at any time. Your parent could likely initiate the next conversation.
Finding the Perfect Place to Call Home
A major influencing factor in helping your parent accept a move to assisted senior care is finding a community that excites them. Visiting the campus and speaking with current residents and staff members can make a big difference in how your parent views assisted senior care.
“At Village Manor, we’re excited to offer seniors a vibrant perspective on senior living,” O’Banion said. “Our assisted senior care program at Bridgepointe at Village Manor is designed for an intimate, neighborhood lifestyle. Licensed nursing staff are on site 24 hours a day to assist with daily living tasks, and our care team implements The Best Friends Approach in everything we do. We take this care approach to heart, prioritizing relationships and support. We know what matters to our residents, and we deliver daily support that meets their needs for physical, emotional and social well-being.”
Approaching the subject of assisted senior care with your parent can be difficult. However, once you have the conversation, you and your parent can begin the journey of discovering a new lifestyle that not only meets their care needs but also offers countless opportunities for a life filled with comfort, convenience, friendship and joy.
