We are in uncharted waters these days. We look to each other to find creative ways to make sure our older adults stay safe, healthy and feeling loved. It’s that last one that is becoming a challenge for so many. People can become isolated, but we can be proactive in reaching out and touching hearts and lives. It just takes a little thought and time. We’d like to offer a few ideas to our friends who are geographically removed from their loved ones, and to those who are temporarily unable to visit loved ones in living communities and facilities.
MAKE TECHNOLOGY YOUR FRIEND
Technology can be intimidating, but it can also be a lifeline. Our smartphones give us multiple methods of communicating – by actual phone, with FaceTime, by sharing videos, with Facebook messages, by text. In-person visits would, of course, always be our first preference, but when travel is difficult or ill-advised, or when contact is restricted, let’s make technology our friend! Let’s embrace what the world has offered us and make the best we can of the different methods we have to communicate. Facility staffs are very busy, but their primary concern is always the residents’ well-being, so most will do their part to facilitate use of technology if at all possible.
GO OLD SCHOOL
Want to do something personal and meaningful? Go old school and write a simple note to someone you love. Or write many notes, one for each day for a couple of weeks, bundle them up and get them to facility staff, or send them to a trusted friend in your loved one’s town to make daily front porch deliveries. People want to help. Reaching out to facility staff or to friends in your hometown enforces the belief we are all here for each other and we all can make a difference.
DOUBLE DUTY GOOD DEEDS
How about supporting a local small business while you’re showing your family member you are thinking about them? Purchase some flowers to be delivered to your mom and her friends in assisted living. Buy gift cards for ice cream or coffee and deliver one a day to someone who needs to know they matter.
Is your loved one someone living with dementia? Put their favorite music on a CD for the facility to play for them, or just play some favorite songs for them over the phone. Music has both a calming and a pleasurable effect on all of us, but particularly on our people living with Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia. You could even offer to pay local musicians to put on a concert on the outdoor patio of your dad’s memory care.
MAKE USE OF RESOURCES
If you are concerned your family or friends don’t have enough supplies or food, many resources allow you to remedy the situation. Grocery delivery is available from multiple platforms, as is restaurant delivery. Amazon can have supplies on a doorstep within 24 hours. Local concierge services such as Timesavers can pick up and deliver items and give you a report on your loved one.
If you live far away and your parent or grandparent is lonely and feeling isolated, there may be a church resource who can check in. Or perhaps this is the time to introduce a once a week visitor who will cheer and engage mom or dad. Check out local care services and how they are addressing current circumstances. Get references and feel comfortable with your choice, but you will have options, even without living in the same city.
REMEMBER WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER
What we are being asked to do right now is unprecedented in most of our lifetimes. We are being asked to give up things important to us. People are struggling. The more we can work together as a community, even when not physically close to each other, the stronger we will come out on the other side of the crisis. Be creative, be proactive, be compassionate, be patient, and most of all, be in this together.
-by Elizabeth Downing
About the Author: Elizabeth Downing is Director of Outreach for Timesavers Concierge, Caregiving & Chauffeur. A 1982 graduate of WKU, Elizabeth found her passion in advocating and providing care for older adults and those with special needs. Timesavers seeks to raise awareness of issues relating to aging and caring for aging loved ones, and works to provide the highest quality care available. Elizabeth has completed a Certificate in Care Management from Boston University, is a Teepa Snow PAC Certified Independent Consultant, and facilitates a family caregiver support group each month.
