You know the drill. You wake up and make your way in a haze to the coffee pot. If you’re lucky, you get five minutes before the kids get up and so begins the daily business of laundry, dishes, preparing meals, taxiing kids to activities, jobs and on and on and on.
It seems like many moms get lost in the sea of motherhood that can be all-consuming. It’s easy to do. Once we have that first precious baby, we become engulfed in all things motherhood. That’s not necessarily a bad thing; I think it’s a natural progression of taking care of our children and trying to give them the best. After all, who among us doesn’t want the best for our kids? The problem is that it’s really hard to give my best to my family when I am not healthy. I need to be physically and mentally at my best in order to give my best to my family.
Pregnancy and having babies does crazy things to the body; both on the outside and the inside. Unfortunately, I’m not one of those women who recover quickly from pregnancy and childbirth. It has taken me years with each child to lose the baby weight and get back in shape. However, it’s not just having babies that can wreak havoc on our bodies. I did get back in shape after having my children and kept the weight off; until life got really hard. I’m no “spring chicken” anymore, and the hormonal change and the stress of life got to me.
Between the stress of selling a house, looking for a house and all the moving in between, I was a bit of a mess. Throw the bad health of a parent on top of that, and in a matter of months I was back to bad habits and had gained twenty pounds again. (Luckily, that wasn’t back to “after pregnancy” weight, but it still isn’t my healthiest place.) In that messy phase of life I managed to hold it all together, but my healthy habits and regular exercise went out the window. Now I have to recover and get back to being healthy.
At the moment, physically speaking, I feel very run down, overworked and overwhelmed. I don’t get enough sleep because I am usually trying to finish the dishes or catch up on emails, prepping for lessons, paying bills or something else that keeps me working until 10 or 11 in the evening. I’m a bit of a night owl so after all that stimulation, I usually need a solid hour to wind down. There just doesn’t seem to be enough time to get everything I need to do accomplished AND get the rest I need.
I also don’t get enough exercise. I try to stay active, and I do exercise, but I can’t seem to fit enough exercise into my schedule. I also try to eat healthy, but I know there is room for improvement there, too. Overall, I’m not unhealthy, but if I could just exercise regularly and be consistent with my eating and sleeping habits, I would feel better and probably be more productive.
However, it’s not just the physical aspect of health I need to work on. Really, what I need is more balance in my life. I need to figure out how to have more “me” time. I can’t remember the last kid-free minute I had that wasn’t consumed with work. Seriously, I would love an extra five minutes to look at the pictures we had made in September. (They are literally on my phone for me to scroll through and I haven’t had a chance yet.) I know that finding time to relax and decompress a bit would be so beneficial for my health.
I sat down and thought about why I want to lose weight and look better. Yes, part of it is vanity, but it’s also about being healthy. I want to have the energy to keep up with my kids. I want to get out of bed in the morning without feeling sore and tired. I want to have a calm, healthy mind. I have found it increasingly difficult to manage the household, everyone’s activities, getting everyone everywhere they need to go, and my work. My responsibility level is high and my energy level is low all the time. When I actually have a few moments to play with my kids, I don’t have the energy. I’d rather be taking a nap. I often find myself zoning out or wishing I could just be “vegging” in front of the television.
I find myself so tired that it’s hard to listen to my children’s stories about their day or have an actual conversation with my husband. I want better for my family. I want better for me.
I want to be vibrant! I want to be full of life and be able to enjoy every moment I’m given. I want to be able to jump at the chance to play softball with my family or go hiking. I want to enjoy playtime with my four-year-old and have the energy to sit and chat with my teenagers when they decide that 9:30pm is when its time to talk about the things in their lives.
I also want to be strong. Yes, I want to be able to carry my youngest all over the ballpark and up flights of stairs when necessary, but it’s more than that. I’m sick of feeling weak, like I’m at the mercy of what my body is “up to doing” that day. I want to know that I can be strong physically and mentally.
I know I can get back to the healthy place. I’ve done it many times before. Each time I get a bit better at improving not just my physical health but also my mental health. I just have to remember that it is not an overnight journey and that I don’t have to conquer it all at once. For example, I really enjoy working out; even though finding the time has been difficult, I’ve realized it has been great for my psyche as well as my physical body. It’s a process. Like me, I’m sure at times you find yourselves on the brink of exhaustion and mental instability. I hope you are at a healthy place in your life, but if you are like me and have a bit of work to do to get to that place, then take heart. You aren’t in this journey alone, and we can do it! We are strong. We are mothers!
-by Kari Carr
About the Author: Kari doesn’t claim to be a parenting expert, just a mom to her four wonderful children and wife to the love of her life, Mike. Together they move through the ups and downs of raising kids in this crazy world. She struggles through the trials and joys of raising children from the ages of two to 15 years old. Kari received her degree at WKU and taught public middle school music and choir for seven years before opening her own business, Sound Beginnings Musikgarten & Vocal Studio. She lives and works in Bowling Green.
