This month we celebrate our youngest child’s second birthday. Like all parents, we can’t believe another year has come and gone so quickly. I’ve been thinking back on his birth, who I was back then, who we were as a family unit and the different things I’ve learned along the way.
In preparation of his arrival, I recall myself reading every book, blog and Instagram post on the how-to’s and what-not-to-do’s. While my feet swelled and belly expanded, I took a lot of notes (though I can’t remember many of them now.) I just remember feeling so anxious for knowledge because I had never been a mom before and I so desperately wanted to get mothering right.
As June is a popular birth month, I thought it would be fun to write this month’s column a little differently and share some of the things I’ve learned firsthand as a parent. These are all things that I don’t remember reading or hearing about when I was growing our baby. I’m no expert at parenting and no one asked me for my advice, but given the platform to share, here are five things I never recall reading anywhere else.
- Always park near a shopping cart station no matter how far it is from the front door of a store. This makes your experience out shopping infinitely less stressful and reduces your anxiety by ten when you’ve emptied your groceries from the cart and need to return your cart and buckle in your child. Instances in which I did not do this, my baby was screaming to eat, I had run out of time to finish shopping, load groceries in my car, return the cart and get him fed. The louder he screamed, my anxiety heightened and I became so stressed having to do all of those things at once. Park next to the shopping cart return station.
- Buy the Doona. It’s an expensive purchase when you are already spending so much money preparing and having a baby, but buy the dang Doona. I didn’t and by the time that I learned that I had missed this mark, it was too late. It’s a miracle contraption that makes traveling near and far so much easier.
- Babies grow at the speed of light. If you want to light hundred dollar bills on fire, buy all the expensive outfit sets. If you want to buy smart and feel less guilty, absolutely do buy the high-end pajamas. Babies spend most of their time sleeping which completely justifies the expense. I bought a lot of outfits and were gifted several as well – so many of them he grew out of before he was able to wear even once, but we got our money’s worth in the wear of bamboo and organic cotton pajamas.
- While we are on the subject of purchases, invest in some kind of picture book subscription for at least a year. Of all the things we bought, this is the one thing I felt most important other than a car seat. Think of it as a modern-day scrapbook without having to do all the work. Picture book subscriptions make for great gifts, too.
- Last but certainly not least, it will be so hard to leave your baby with someone else, but do it for a date. Go out with your person, if only for an hour. Those newer months are weird, and you can feel so close and yet so very far from your spouse. It’s really important to prioritize staying connected during it all. You will not regret the minutes you step away from your baby to turn your attention to your spouse. I remember our first date was about a month after we had our baby and I felt so anxious being away from our little guy, but it was a wise investment of time.
These five things are pearls of wisdom that I will pass down to my own children when the time comes. Everyone learns differently in those first few months of parenting and truly, there is no right or wrong way to do it. No one is keeping score. Do what you feel is right and listen to the voices that you trust when you need some guidance.
Soak it all up. Before you know it, you’ll be planning a second birthday of the little one you feel certain that you just birthed. You wake up one day and suddenly they have a full set of teeth, you are buying a potty chair and listening to their little singing voice as they string together the melody of Twinkle Little Star. Life happens so fast. Savor every second.
-by Destini McPherson
