In our series of essays beginning in June, we have tried to show families the value and importance of planning and preparation. While we always knew somewhere in our heads that we could not foresee every eventuality, this year has shined a spotlight on that fact.
No matter where you are in your life, your career, your children’s schedules, or your other commitments, something can come along to change things. Being proactive and having a roadmap already planned can be essential to where these changes take you. While the roadmap might not precisely fit the change in your life at the exact moment it occurs, at least you will have informed yourself, connected yourself with trusted advisors, and considered what options will be available when needed.
Be assured you are not alone in any given care situation. According to a 2020 report from the National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP, 41.8 million adults provide care for recipients age 50 and older. This number has increased from 34.2 million in 2015. 61% of those caregivers are women. 61% continue to work in a workplace while providing care. 10% give up working in order to provide care.
I’d like to emphasize again, there is no time to waste here in terms of making the plan that will benefit the people you love. We all are faced with choices for our families, and ourselves. Maybe you have a family team to work with you, and perhaps you don’t have that family support. If you are fortunate enough to have anything resembling the dream team, you will recognize the value of each member playing to his or her strengths; of the necessity of division of time and effort; and of anticipating the road ahead as best you can.
If, as in many cases, you do not have a large family, or your family is geographically scattered, or is uninvolved in the care situation you face, you can still build a team. The people you choose to be on that team should be vetted, trusted and knowledgeable. They should understand your goals and your concerns. They should help you be proactive. They should be willing to work with other team members for the common good. Does this team seem too good to be true? It doesn’t have to be.
I’d like to share a personal perspective. I am one of five children. Our father died in 2011, and our mother is an amazing 98-year-old role model. Over the last ten years, I have helped build and manage a caregiving service. While my mother has been one of our clients, I have focused a great deal of energy on other families, and on learning how a business like ours can be more than just a business.
We have grown with the goal of not only providing care, but of educating, informing, supporting, counseling and guiding families on their unique journey. Because of the opportunities this afforded me to learn and become more fluent in “care-speak,” I can now help my own family in a larger role.
I, personally, am fortunate to have four siblings with talents and gifts in many areas. We decided long ago to make sure everyone was playing to their own strengths. As it happens, now is the time when my strengths can be a real asset to my family’s journey. So, after ten years, I am doing what I have watched numerous other adult children do. I am leaving my position with the company I love in order to invest myself in my mother’s roadmap. This is a decision I make joyfully and with great anticipation. It is a decision thousands of adult children make every day.
These crossroads are never simple. If you have reached one, however, you are not alone. There is support for you. There are people walking in your shoes. Reach out to someone who can answer questions and help guide you. You will never regret being proactive. And you will never regret the time you will spend with someone you love.
-by Elizabeth Downing
About the Author: I have been a part of Timesavers Concierge, Caregiving & Chauffeur since 2010. Although not through a direct route, I found my passion in advocating and providing care for older adults and those beginning to navigate life’s transitions. While Timesavers will always seek to raise awareness of issues relating to aging and caring for aging loved ones, and to let people know they are not alone in the journey, I am now stepping away to help my own family on its unique journey. Timesavers’ work is important to families and to the community, and my transition will be important to the people I value most highly. I am sincerely grateful to the community for all the support for Timesavers over the years, and I know that support will continue far into the future. –Elizabeth Downing
